The Hidden Cost of Grief
What’s New in Psychology?
The Hidden Cost of Grief
What’s New in Psychology?
The Hidden Cost of Grief
Jim Windell
We’re not out of the woods yet with the coronavirus pandemic. But millions of us are vaccinated and there is the possibility of a return to a less socially-distanced life in the next few months.
However, living through the pandemic has been traumatic for many people – not only in the U.S., but around the world. After all, millions suffered from getting the virus and a half a million Americans died. Those deaths, because of restrictions, have – for the most part – been unmourned. In effect, nearly everyone has been touched by the virus. That means that trauma and PTSD have been rampant.
But is there hope of a rebound? Will we all recover? Could there even be post-traumatic growth?
A number of writers have tackled these questions lately. I read several articles for this blog. Among the stories I read were articles by Chery Glaser (KCRW Podcast), Jane Mai Ngo (Rewired) and Marco della Cava (USA Today) – and I drew from all of these to summarize what many experts are saying about the future.
Dr. Michael Wilkes, professor of medicine and global health at UC Davis, notes that if we consider the coronavirus pandemic as a disaster then we may have passed through the worst of this catastrophe and may actually be in a reconstruction phase. This means that we may be, just like those who have experienced the devastation of a bombing or an earthquake, looking to rebuild and establish a new beginning.
While Dr. Wilkes acknowledges that each of us may be in different personal or community circumstances, many of us are thinking about positive changes that we've made during the pandemic and which we want to maintain as we anticipate a pandemic-free life in the next several months. Wilkes points out that while some people have found that their relationships have been challenged, others have reconnected with old friends and acquaintances. Others have developed new hobbies and developed new routines.
Referring to the concepts of Tedeschi and Calhoun, Wilkes says that these two psychologists introduced the concept of post-traumatic growth and that they found that people who endure psychological struggles following some adversity often see positive growth afterwards. “We can come to appreciate life in new ways, build new relationships and connections, develop new hobbies and learning opportunities, identify strengths, and perhaps even find some spiritual change,” Wilkes said.
Talking recently to Marco della Cava, Richard Tedeschi said that to achieve post-traumatic growth, sufferers of trauma must first recognize and accept the ways in which core beliefs have been shattered by an event. If people accept that an emotional earthquake has occurred, Tedeschi said, “That allows humans to grow in five specific domains: appreciation of life, relationships with others, new possibilities in life, personal strength and spiritual change.”
Tedeschi, professor emeritus at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and distinguished chair at the Boulder Crest Institute for Posttraumatic Growth, went on to say that positive change in those five areas begins with the necessary reconstruction of core beliefs; core beliefs such as the predictability and controllability of life – beliefs and ideas that perhaps prior to the traumatic event often went either unexamined or were taken for granted. Tedeschi noted that the journey to growth can take years and on average only half of trauma sufferers truly succeed. And for some groups, for instance, communities of color, such change may prove particularly difficult to come by given the disproportionate impact of COVID-19.
"Shared trauma can initiate post-traumatic growth in communities or whole societies,” Tedeschi said, “and we will be witnessing that in the near future as this pandemic resolves and we see what remains."
While millions of Americans are being vaccinated almost every day, it is far from clear as to when the nation will bounce back from COVID-19. There is no question that the desire to rebound is strong. Governors of most states have lifted restrictions, despite new surges and rising hospitalizations in some areas. Certainly, most Americans seem tired of restrictions as well as financial challenges and various losses – of friends and a familiar way of life. Many are eager to resume travel, full employment, vacations and being with friends.
“Appreciation for life may occur in someone who recovers from a serious case of COVID-19,” says Tedeschi. “Changes in relationships may happen for people who experience caring and kindness in their struggles. Spiritual changes could happen as a person shifts perspective on how life can seem random. Personal strength could come to people who rode out challenges as first responders, and new possibilities may be recognized by those forced to shift into new employment.”
Bouncing back, according to some economists, might even mean a return from the calamitous impacts of COVID-19 and the emergence of a new Roaring ‘20s – just as our country experienced following World War I and the Spanish flu pandemic. The Roaring 20s saw a fiscal and cultural explosion in the country.
“When this plague ends, you’ll have something very similar as people relentlessly search each other out and there is sexual licentiousness, an economic boom and a blossoming of the arts,” said Nicholas Christakis, a professor of social and natural science at Yale University in New Haven, Connecticut.
However, Christakis, author of “Apollo’s Arrow: The Profound and Enduring Impact of Coronavirus on the Way We Live,” sounds a note of caution as the buoyancy of a Roaring 20s might still be a few years away. He suggests 2024 as the most likely time when this boom occurs.
“First, we’ll have the intermediate period lasting a few years, where we’re dealing with the economic shock of the virus, the impact to education, and a toll of both the dead and the millions disabled by COVID-19,” he said. “We’ll have to mop up. That’ll take time.”
Also taking time will be confronting the trauma we’ve been through. It generally takes time to deal with the experiences of a disaster.
“If you’re able to purposefully think about what happened to you and make some meaning of it, that can lead you to a higher level than before,” said Whitney Dominick, a social psychologist at Oakland University in Auburn Hills, Michigan. Dominick is in the process of conducting research on whether individuals impacted by COVID-19 have experienced post-traumatic growth over the past six months. Dominick says that early findings show that while growth overall has not been detected, many people studied did report improvements in the areas of personal strength and new possibilities.
Michael Wilkes says there are steps to take to find positive outcomes to the pandemic. “I guess the first strategy is to pause for self-reflection and ask ourselves how am I doing? Am I feeling isolated? Are my relationships suffering? What has helped me cope?” he says.
Wilkes also points out that we need to be alert to avoiding maladaptive coping. Maladaptive coping, he says, could mean working around the clock without breaks or without checking in with family or friends. It could also mean using drugs or alcohol, or constantly being angry. “Part of the growth is knowing where we are, and having compassion for ourselves,” Wilkes says. He adds that we need to show ourselves the grace we deserve in having weathered this incredible storm over the past year or so. “It's easier sometimes to do it for others than it is to do it for ourselves.”
Psychologist Richard Tedeschi says that it is critical for those seeking post-traumatic growth to find an "expert companion" – a nonjudgmental sounding board with whom to share thoughts and progress.
“In explaining what you’re feeling to them, you get a better understanding of yourself,” he says. “This is not an easy process; it is a struggle. But with work, you start to see a forward-looking story to your life. You can start to write the novel about yourself, instead of being on autopilot and letting life happen to you.”
How You Overcame Past Challenges Can Help You Process Negative Experiences
Jim Windell
Emily Peck, a staff writer for the Huffington Post, just did a story examining what will happen to day care centers and childcare facilities as a result of the Covid-19 crisis. Although childcare centers may be more essential than ever when we’re all allowed to go back to work, many are not getting any funds or finances during the current shutdown. Therefore, it seems evident that many will just not survive.
While interviewing the owners of daycare centers, Peck also looked at data from the National Association for the Education of Young Children and the Center for American Progress. Both organizations have collected information about childcare facilities and programs. These organizations predict that about half of all available slots in licensed child care centers and homes are at risk of disappearing because of the pandemic.
Of the many ways the coronavirus pandemic has changed our lives, one of the most significant might be the way it has changed relationships.
In the U.S, and around the world, millions of couples who have led largely separate lives during the workday suddenly find themselves quarantined at home. They are stuck together all day, every day, with no end in sight.
In a story that first was reported in the New York Times in April, social distancing and stay-at-home orders have apparently fueled incidents of domestic violence in the state of New York, even if not in New York City. This despite the fact that the police are reporting a general drop in crime during the pandemic.
Statistics suggest domestic violence is down in New York City, the epicenter of the coronavirus outbreak in the U.S., since the shutdown, even as it has risen statewide and around the world. However, fewer victims of domestic abuse have been calling the police or the New York City’s hotline in recent weeks.
Many people are wearing masks these days. Some refuse to go out without a mask. Some insist that anyone who comes to their house cover the lower part of their face with a cloth mask.
Then there are the others. Those who resist the whole concept of wearing a mask. Some of these people see it as a personal affront of they are required to wear a mask to enter a store or a business. They are not persuaded by laws and mandates compelling the wearing of masks.
This is true in the United States, but it is also observed in other countries.
There’s no doubt about it. The pandemic, stretching into five months as I write this, is having an effect on adults. In his novel, “The Plague,” Albert Camus wrote about people in a fictional town shuffling numbly through life as the epidemic reached a year. We haven’t quite reached that point in America, but as the Covid-19 pandemic shows no signs of abating, tensions and anxieties for many people are increasing.
That is certainly true of parents – what with moms and dads trying to juggle children and child care, work and schooling. A recent American Psychological Association (APA) survey found that nearly of parents with children under the age of 18 say their stress levels are high. As times moves on, a greater proportion of Americans say that the economy and work is a significant source of stress for them.
Living through a pandemic, with many people quarantined in their homes, will lead to a new epidemic: Loneliness. That is a fear expressed by some. The reasons for this thinking make sense: Having to keep our distance from others; not being able to see our friends; isolated from family members; and not interacting with other people at our place of work. All of this social distancing will surely lead to severe consequences for most of us.
That might be the conventional thinking. But what is the evidence?