What’s New in Psychology?
How Can Couples be in More Sync when Fighting?
Jim Windell
I admit it. I hate conflict. I’d rather eat broken glass than engage in a fight. Despite the fact that I co-led a program for more than 10 years to help high-conflict couples communicate better, I never got used to the anger and hostility that some couples have for each other.
But I also know that you can’t survive in an intimate relationship without conflict. And I am well aware that constructive fights can often clear the air. Besides, those romantic partners who never fight aren’t necessarily closer or more loving than those who have heated conflicts from time to time.
New research from Toronto Metropolitan University explores how couples navigate conflict and how it impacts the quality of their relationships. The study’s findings could help romantic partners improve the way they fight.
The study applied the time-varying effect model to existing data from a large-scale experimental study of couples. Researchers used this model to examine how positive and negative partner behaviors unfolded throughout the interaction and how these behaviors influenced their partner’s responses. Positive behaviors could be supportive or problem-solving oriented, while negative behaviors could be critical or hostile.
“The process of discussing and navigating conflict is important, not just whether or not they reach a resolution,” says Professor Sarah S. Dermody, lead researcher. “Our ability to fully understand the multifaceted exchanges between couples when they discuss conflict has been limited by the available research tools. This study demonstrates a new way of using data and helps characterize how the conflict unfolds.”
Originally, 152 couples completed the study, including 152 women and 152 men with an average age of 32.33. The majority of couples were married (69.1%). The sample’s race was predominantly white (93.42%), with 3.6% Black and 2.96% Asian American, Native American, or other.
Upon arrival at the lab participants were separated and provided informed consent. Couples were brought back together to elicit areas of actual disagreement in their relationships. They independently rated the amount of disagreement on an array of topics from 1 to 100. Couples discussed their second most disagreed upon topic in the first 15-min interaction. These data were not examined here because alcohol was not administered. The research focused on their second interaction in which couples discussed their most disagreed upon topic and were told to work out the disagreement to the best of their ability. Alcoholic beverages were given before the discussion.
Following the disagreement discussion, couples were led through a happy times discussion to dispel any negative emotions. Couples in which one or both consumed alcohol were given a meal, movies, and magazines until their blood alcohol levels dropped to 0.3%.
The recorded interactions were coded by using the Rapid Marital Interaction Coding System (|RMICS), which consists of five negative codes (psychological abuse, distress-maintaining attribution, hostility, dysphoric affect, and withdrawal), four positive codes (acceptance, relationship-enhancing attribution, self-disclosure, and humor), one neutral code (constructive problem discussion/solution) and one other code. Each time a partner spoke or had an utterance a code was recorded. If the speaker’s turn was longer than 30 seconds, it was coded in 30 second intervals. During these intervals, the partner can also receive codes by interruptions or nonverbal gestures.
The RMICS is an event-based coding system developed to record observed dyadic behavior, capturing all observable actions, including verbal and non-verbal behavior and communication. It measures the frequency of behavior and behavioral patterns (called “sequences”) during conflictual interactions. It provides codes for different types of positive, negative, and neutral behaviors observed in couples’ interactions, and tracks how much time each person “holds the floor” (i.e., speaking time). A key advantage of couple interaction coding systems, such as RMICS, is their ability to capture how couples’ behaviors influence each other’s responses.
The researchers found that positive behaviors by one person tended to elicit positive responses by the other. Meanwhile, negative behaviors were quite strongly related to negative responses. The researchers also found that couples became more in sync over time when discussing conflict. This was particularly true when the couples relied on the more positive interaction style.
The findings suggest that couples commonly mirror the type of behavior they are responding to during fights. They also highlight the importance of maintaining supportive and positive behaviors when fighting with a romantic partner.
The study also examined how the consumption of alcohol interacted with these dynamics moment-to-moment. Surprisingly, the consumption of alcohol by one or both partners did not produce statistically significant changes in how partners interacted. However, researchers suspect there would be more changes if participants consumed more alcohol than was provided in the study or if the couples did not know they were being observed.
To read the original article, find it with this reference:
Dermody, S. S., Earle, E. A., Fairbairn, C. E., & Testa, M. (2025). Time-varying relational interaction dynamics in couples discussing conflict. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/02654075251317168
